women in IT

Think about all the women working in IT. Some of them are really great: I know one who leads a team of almost 20 developers, one who is the best in her 15-developers team and they are great (and they are in fashion). But I also know the rest: who still wonder if this is the job that really make them happy?...
So, as a woman, is working in IT like Shrimps at lunch?... They are great in the Shrimps-cocktail! But not in a day by day meal. They have to be the frontdish or the desert, otherwise you'll die from hunger.

But still, suppose destiny (= parents, a high-school crush) wants us IT women, where do we actually end up? Well, you've got 2 answers: web-design or machine-things. Being in the web-design we still keep the feminine aura (fashion, design, colors, writing, intuition), but we are not in the "boiling area" of making the "IT move".
And if we decide to make the IT-world move (= dealing with servers, architecture decisions) do we look as if we lost your feminine side? Do the others start to see us as the work-body and therefor we start to become a woman-pants? Or were we actually a man-brain trapped in a woman body and never realized?